Since when did leggings, perfectly disheveled hair, an over-sized sweatshirt and Ugg boots become a standard-issue uniform? Let me break this down for you, young ladies of Ann Arbor:

1. Leggings are not pants. I am not averse to leggings, I wear them myself. But they’re supposed to be worn like tights that are thick enough to let you get away with a little less skirt.

2. This comment is going to instantly date me, BUT: I already regret my side-ponytail from the 80s. If you’re going to spend $300 getting your hair colored in Birmingham, at least style it so you won’t want to hide your photos at the bottom of a drawer in 10 years.

3. Over-sized sweatshirts are okay.

4. Uggs are anything but okay. Mine have been at the back of my closet for so long that there is a giant moth in the toe of one of them that I’m too grossed out to pull out, but I don’t really care because I will never wear them again. If you don’t believe me you I’ll stick my phone in there and try to take a picture. Uggs were cute on famous people at Sundance in ‘03, and on the rest of us with slip dresses in the spring and summer of ‘04.

And if your argument is that this uniform is comfortable, let me suggest THIS. That’s really comfort. Just ask my grandma.