I admit that I have never seen “Dancing With the Stars,” so I have no basis for what I’m about to say other than the headline I read in yesterday’s paper:

Yamaguchi wins ‘Dancing with the Stars’

Well… Ummm… Duh.

It’s like a headline that says Agassi wins ‘Badminton with the Stars.’

I think, from what I’ve gleaned, that the purpose of the show is to pair otherwise unqualified celebrities with professional dancers and see who can dance better or something like that. Somehow a professional figure skater seems pretty qualified to me.

I will now get back to trying to track down Drew Barrymore. I will let you in on this confidential newsroom tidbit: I have just obtained a cell phone photo from a woman who met Drew on the streets of Ypsilanti on Tuesday.

Rumor also has it that Drew dined at the Wolverine, but those ladies ain’t talkin’.

Soon we’ll all be rich!