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This morning Elliot told me that he’d like to start taking karate again. I told him I thought that would be fine, but also that I think that we should get him into a team sport that he can play in school. Here is what he said:

“Maybe. But the thing is, my strengths are really more things like robots, technology, the body, math, albegra… alge… algebra. That kind of thing. I’m just not really interested in standing around in a field playing basketball. I’m not that kind of guy. I have better things to do with my strengths.”

The argument is pretty air-tight. Except for that basketball being played in a field part. We’ll have to set that one straight before some 5’11” second-grader does.

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I took the entire weekend off from the Internet. Aside from a couple of e-mail checks on my phone, I had a good four days of no Twittering, Facebooking, or Interneting of any kind other than bathtub Hulu watching. I guess if you have a job where you aren’t allowed to do those things, you might want to do more of them in your spare time. But, for me, using Twitter all day on my vacation is akin to filling out personnel reports. Albeit more exciting.

The result of this is that I, apparently, completely missed a supposedly huge news story.

Last night, on the TV at the gym, there were several people discussing an accident involving Tiger Woods. There was discussion of apologies and the media and a bunch of other falderal, but they never actually said what happened. There was a ticker at the bottom that said something like “Tiger Woods Accident Aftermath”.

Then, when I got back on Twitter today, I saw tweets saying “Leave Tiger Alone” and other equally nebulous ramblings.

Whatever happened to background?

In the newspaper world, whenever we wrote an update of a story, we always started the update with a synopsis of the original story. Most likely because newspapers do not assume that their audience is checking the newspaper every 10 minutes on their iPhone. Because it is not possible. Because iPhones don’t hold paper. And you can’t print on an iPhone without destroying the screen.

I am bitter and I am curmudgeonly. Don’t ask me why I don’t just Google the story to find out what happened. Because I want the news to tell me.
Stop assuming that I am also on the 24-hour news cycle.

Bah.

Hi friends!

Since I no longer have a job where I have to worry about the public dissemination of myself (beyond the norm), I’m back.
Man. This is a little awkward. It’s like when you run into someone you haven’t seen in a few years, and you’re not quite sure how much to talk about.
So I’ll just pretend that we’re all caught up and tell you about what’s going on right now. It’s easier on both of us this way.

Last night after work, Joe and I went to the rec center to practice our ping pong. Okay, so we also worked out, but that wasn’t really the point of the visit.
One of his co-workers is having a ping pong tournament at his house in a few weeks. The guy told Joe that the wives don’t usually play. But, since I’m not a wife, I guess that makes me exempt. But that also means that I have to practice (haven’t you seen a movie where someone is the only girl playing? pssh, she’d better be able to hold her own).

Let me be clear about the level of competition I am expecting: This is the same friend that gave Joe half a deer that he shot with a crossbow, and the two of them processed it together in the garage at his home in Flint. His 14-year-old daughter stood around and complained about being bored while the two men sawed their way through a deer head.
These people don’t mess around.

On the plus side, someone gifted Joe a ping pong table yesterday, so we don’t have to play at the rec center. On the minus side, we don’t have an inside place to put it so, for the time being, we’ll be playing in the driveway. Most likely by flashlight, except on the weekends.

Also, this evening I will be customizing my paddle. I will post photos. And I am trying to plan my outfit. I welcome any suggestions.